When money talks, are you listening?

For the edification of wealth-management marketers, the latest Class Matters articles in yesterday's New York Times served up a cornucopia of quotes regarding those who possess large amounts of money, new or old:

Michael Kittredge (sold Yankee Candle Co. for about $500 million):

Successful people like to be with other successful people. "Birds of a feather." *** If you order a $300 bottle in a restaurant, the guy at the next table is ordering a $400 bottle.

[Really big] money makes a lifestyle. It creates a division between the old money and the new.

Roger Horchow (sold catalog business for $117 million):

The only people who are truly class conscious are the second tootsie wives of men with big bankrolls.

Dr. Nina Chandler Murray, psychologist, an 85-year-old relative of the Poor (as in Standard and Poor's) family:

Coming from a New England background, you had a honed discipline of what was expected. Showing off money was a sin.

What has happened in America is that achievement is so important that everyone wants everyone else to know what they have done. And in case you don't know, they want to tell you with a lethal combination of houses, cars and diamonds.

They have just a colossal amount of money. But they don't have any confidence in how they're living. For instance, one woman calls up her interior decorator every morning to find out what kind of flowers she should have. This seems sad.

Nelson Aldrich, old-money author of a book titled (surprise!) Old Money:

For many self-made men, homes, boats and even membership in expensive clubs are trophy signs of wealth. But for the older money, a boat may well be part of a tableau that has to do with family, with his grandparents and his children. It is part of his identity.

Michael Thomas, Wall Streeter turned novelist:

Ultimately, the new money becomes as insular as the old money, because it gains the power to exclude.

Shame has somehow gone out the window.

Letitia Lundeen, antiques dealer on Nantucket:

The old money doesn't like to spend money because they worry about whether they can make it again. Even when they can spend it, they often think it's vulgar and unnecessary.

Arlene Briard, Nantucket taxi driver and long-time resident:

Class has a certain grace. Just because you can go to Chanel and buy a dress does not mean you have class. A person who just pays their bills on time can have class.

Wealth managers must zero in on each client's attitude toward money. But have a care. Generalizations about New Money and Old Money don't always do well in crash tests against reality.

New Money? The Americans with the most are Bill Gates and Warren Buffett — two guys who probably couldn't look flashy if you paid them.

Old Money? The name most likely to be found on people's lips these days is . . . Paris Hilton!