The Alchemist, via Wikimedia Commons
"[C]reating investments that promise investors both gains and protections is essentially like trying to work alchemy in the financial markets," observes The Wall Street Journal.
Despite last year's setbacks, the alchemists are back in their laboratories, seeking to turn derivatives into gold and stocks into investments that always go up.
The Journal reports they hope to sell their inventions to seniors – retirement-age investors.
(Advice from this senior to his peers: "Be afraid. Be very afraid.")
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